Making Room for Him

Well, I wasn't planning on writing on here so soon but... I just felt like I needed to!  First, a little background to this post.  I started the James bible study by Beth Moore last semester I think... Yeah I know, obviously it was long enough ago that I can't remember.  Anyways, I wasn't feeling connected and was having a hard time really getting into it and having a good quiet time so I ended up quitting.  Well recently I have just felt like it needed to be picked back up, dusted off, and cracked open.  So, I decided to give it another chance and just pick back up where I left off.

So, that brings us to now. I did a lesson recently that had a quote it in that has just been replaying in my mind.  "Every gap in your life makes room for the Lover of your soul."  These words just stabbed my heart and have been on constant replay in my mind.  I just think about how many times I have thought that I have lost something or am missing something now without my Dad.  How wonderful and incredible is it for me to realize that this "gap" I now feel in my life is just more room for my Heavenly Father.  The One who is "perfectly acquainted with every circumstance in our lives and every cell in our bodies."  (Beth Moore)

I just want to shout from the mountain tops about this.  It fills my heart with overwhelming joy to be reminded how well the Lord knows me, knows my heart, knows what I need and He wants to give me all of these things.  I also love what Beth Moore said about time and how He uses time to unwrap the gifts that we see as curses right now.  I can look back at mistakes I have made or times that I felt were hard and I am thankful for them now.  I remember when my family moved to Searcy and how scared I was and how hard it was to make new friends.  Now, I look back and am so unbelievably thankful.  So many good things have come from living there.

It is hard not having my Dad around and it will be hard for a long time I think.  That doesn't mean the Lord won't use this experience to grow me and bless me.  I am excited to continue this study and I think I  picked it (back) up at the perfect time!

Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights. with Him there is no variation or shadow cast by turning.  James 1:17

I'll Do Better

So I guess it is pretty obvious that I am not so good at this blog thing.  Sometimes I think about deleting it, but then as soon as I do I get sad and think, "I'll do better!"  So this is me trying to do better, to be more dedicated.  Not that anyone reads it, but for myself.  I don't claim to be a writer of any sort, but I enjoy journaling and writing my thoughts down.  It is somehow comforting and soothing.  I remember I started to really get into journaling my senior year of high school when my English teacher required us to keep one for class.  Since then I have been hooked!  I will be honest though, since my Daddy passed away I have failed miserably.  My thought is to get back into it by through this blog.  Typing is a lot easier than writing...

I don't have any ground breaking thoughts or ideas as of now, but I can assure you that as soon I do this will be the first place I go to release them to the world!  Ha! In the mean time, I will just talk about what has been going on and exciting things that have happened.  

For starters, I was accepted in to PA school!!  EEEKKKK!!! <--- That is me jumping for joy and making my excited squeal!  The more I think about it, the more proud I am.  It is so nice to see all my hard work being rewarded.  All those mornings I woke up at 4:30 to go work a twelve hour shift as a nurse's aide actually meant something!  And let me tell you, working as a nurse's aide will humble you, teach you, and grow you in so many ways you never imagined!  (Not to mention give you lots of fun/awesome/disgusting/hilarious stories to share with your friends and family who may or may not want to hear them!)  All that studying I did to make good grades finally paid off, so happy about that! Although I will say now that I have been accepted has kind of made my "senioritis" worse.  Yes, I am a senior in college and now just like every other senior in college I don't want to study or go to class, but no worries (MOM) I do!  Anyways,  I am just very proud of myself for getting into school and now I just hope I can make it THROUGH school.  

I very often think about what my Daddy would say about it all.  I know he would be proud and excited because I am actually going to be in a position where I would have been able to take care of him just like he always wanted.  I wish I could share this accomplishment with him so badly, but I am sure he is proud of me from Heaven.

Moving on... I am obsessed with my nephews!  They are now over six months old and just growing, growing, growing!  It is just crazy to see how far they have come and look back at exactly where we were a year ago.  I love going home and seeing them practically every weekend, but I will admit after this summer it is nice that I get to drive to jonesboro and sleep through every night now.  My sister, on the other hand, does not have that luxury, but I think she is okay with it.  She is an amazing mother and I have loved seeing her grow into that role.  She fits it perfectly.  I hope that I can be as graceful as her when I become a mother, which will be a LONG LONG LONG time in the future! Having nephews is plenty for me right now!

Another fun accomplishment to report, though it's not about me, is that Seth made it through his first year of PT school!  WoooHooo!!!! I am so proud of him!  He worked so hard and did amazing and is one step closer to becoming a PT!  Right now he is in North Carolina on his first rotation.  I miss him a lot, but at the same time it is kind of fun him being out there and all because it feels like when we first started dating.  Missing someone makes it that much sweeter when you get to see them.  I am trying my best to soak up these days of us dating because I know we won't be in this stage of life forever and we will never get this time back.  I am really excited for all that we have ahead of us and sometimes I catch myself wishing my days away.  Everyday I try to be in this moment and focus on the short term because I want to enjoy the now and be happy now.  One. Day. At. A. Time. 

Well, I have said a lot so I will leave it at that!  I am going to hold myself accountable and be more dedicated to writing on here because I do enjoy it... Let's pray for the best!  I will just leave you with this verse that caught my eye and grabbed my heart the other day!  

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.  There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it more.  (Hebrews 4:16)