Joy

I am so excited! One week from today I will be flying to North Carolina to spend Thanksgiving with Seth and his family!  It will have been about five weeks since I have seen him.  It really hasn't been all that bad, but this week I have really been missing him.  He is just my person, ya know?  Anyways, I am so beyond ready for Thanksgiving break and then quickly after that Christmas break!

I have to say I am pleasantly surprised by the joy and excitement I have for the holidays this year.  Last year, I had a really hard time with it.  Mostly, my family tried to have a normal Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We did everything the same, but the fact that Daddy wasn't there felt like it was just hanging over our heads.  I think we all kinda just tried to get through the holidays.  This year, though, I feel my joy slowly creeping back.  I have been praying everyday for the Lord to just fill me up with joy, the kind that only He can provide, fill me up so much that I overflow and He has.  I love that such a big God can fulfill even small requests such as that.

I will admit, I still have moments when my thoughts go back to things I don't really want to think about.  I usually get to missing Seth pretty bad right about then because sometimes you just need someone to hold your hand and remind you that its okay to be sad every once and a while.  You can't always be strong and in order to be healed you have to let your wounds show.  I am trying to soak up these days because I know they are fleeting and I want to be open to everything the Lord wants to teach me through this.  It's not always easy, though.

Right now, I am just finding great happiness in my joy being restored for the holidays!  It's the little things ya know!  Sorry for the randomness of this post, just throwing some thoughts out there.

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy.  Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
Psalm 5:11

Thankful

I am so thankful to have friends who share sweet words with me like this:

"For we do not have a great priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in a time of need." 

(Hebrews 4:15-16)

It gives me great comfort to know that the One who is command over my life and holds me the palm of His hand is able to sympathize with me.  To understand.  To know.  To just get it.  It makes my heart overflow with joy to feel His love rain down on me and cover my sin and heal my hurt.  I am so undeserving, but I am so thankful.  It's so hard to imagine grace that is unending, but His truly is.