It has been a very long time since I have written on here. Things have just been crazy these past few months. I feel like my life is just in a constant state of change, which is sort-of an oxymoron. I have sad it before and I will say it again. I am tired. Especially lately. We are basically on baby watch with my sister, and I cannot wait to see these two little boys but I want them to stay in there grow as much as they can before they enter this big, mean world. I feel like these past few weeks I have just been rushing around, going here and there, doing this and that. It all seems so important at the time, but looking back I can't even remember what I was doing. But that is just how life is these days I guess.
A couple weekends ago I got to go visit a very good friend with two of my other best girlfriends! And let me tell you, it was like a breath of fresh air! We probably spent 80% of our entire weekend just talking, and laughing, and maybe a little crying. Leaving there, I just had such a renewed spirit and an open heart. I forgot how much I love that time with my best friends where we can let down our guards and be honest in our struggles and encourage one other. That kind of community has been greatly missed in my life. I have been so busy trying to be strong and hold everything together and be there for everyone, I forgot how much I need that time to just be vulnerable. I can see so much more clearly why the Lord tells us we need community with fellow believers. When I was in high school I had A LOT of that kind of community and I loved it! Having God-fearing women who are willing to invest in your life and pour into you is one of the most valuable gifts a teenage girl can have.
Leaving that weekend, I also left with a new sense of hope. My favorite song right now is Not for a Moment by Meredith Andrews, it says exactly what I want to say and explains my hope in the Lord. He IS constant. He IS only good. He IS sovereign. And I know that even when I can't see Him or hear Him, He is there and has not and will not ever forsake me. I don't need to understand why things have been difficult for my family and myself lately, all I need to know is that He will not leave my side and that He will not allow us to suffer if it will not produce some kind of fruit. And in that I will take comfort. I will draw near to Him and when words fail me I will pray for the Holy Spirit to intercede for me and say what I cannot say and ask for what I don't know to ask for. My life is in His hands and there I know I am safe.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?"
-Psalm 27:1
P.S. If you have not heard Not for a Moment, I strongly encourage you to! Oh and the Passion 2013 CD is great too!
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